Marty Wardius, Unplugged

1999: Marty turns 50 years old, completely unaware that his now-former wife had warned me about the party ahead of time. There was no time to lose. I contacted a few of his FF@ friends and a plan was hatched: Conrad Black sent a Gambrel Restrainer for securing the front paws of sheep. I sent the Love Ewe. Sue Kreutzer sent a size 50 bra with pasties to fit the sheep. Blake Werner sent a tub of petroleum jelly from the Large Animal Vet Clinic at Cornell. Claude Freaner sent something a little more tasteful, even. Melissa delivered the gifts according to plan, and the folks gathered for Marty's party were left almost speechless.

As you can see, Marty has found a friend for life and we couldn't be happier for him.

Action photos of Marty's central NY trip in 1997 were confiscated by federal authorities. This one of him and Jim not even trying to not-catch fish wasn't listed in the indictment, so I can post it:

And then there was his summer 1998 trip. The reports are in the archives, us locals did everything we could to put him onto rising fish and he still didn't catch any. Fortunately, Jim stopped Marty from burning my rod in desperation. This photo features Lucifer himself, Jim "King" Lear, and Mr. Scud posing after dinner in Geneva:

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