Les is More

The Benscoter Collection

Les "Grasshopper" Benscoter came into his own as a list poet in 1997, and ever since no topic is safe. Enjoy!

Subject: Re: Flyfishing vest near death ...


Christian No Vest
A Fanny Pack Does You Best
You are All Smiles

Subject: Re: Flyfishing vest near death ...


In-A Pickle

Yet Another Take
F I L S O N is
For the Heavy Rain

It is better Chi
Sacrifice the Filson Vest
Shed No Tear Like Rain

Better to Learn Now
Never More to Have a Vest
The Least of What Is


Subject: Re: New Year's Day on the river


Kitten on the Prowl
Sharpened Claws to Scratch some Meat
The Bonehead can't read

You May Shove Him In
Oh My God Bonehead Can't Swim
Use Meat Hook To Save

Bonehead on the Beach
You Have Practiced Catch and Keep
Bonehead Now Can Read

Take A Polaroid
Show Meathead How Wet He Looks
Post Picture In Bar

No Fishing On Pic
Have Guest Take Picture of Kat
Claws Sticking in Meat

Richard was right, I joined Tambo in spirit(s) and had my HaiKu Shots last night... well just a little bit :)

You did good Kiddo ... Sounds to me like that Bonehead caught more than just minnows :-)

leslie@brokenbranch -- where we switch-em to beat the dickens out of em :)

Subject: Carp Fly Swap [Was sub salmonku]

No Way!

useless on usenet
Blake will tie dry salmon fly
Tom will get his carp

les is more

Subject: Re: Marvin kus

>term terrors abound
>barbule, spey fly, spiders found
>out of place profound

spiders have 8 legs
Some are Hairy and do bite
non have wings for flight

many tyers bite
chewing nails when searching light
spiders weave a web

once a web is spun
to the spider this is fun
tyers take delight

Once bitten twice smite
spider takes it all in stride
tyer chews his nails

leslie who is nailless

Subject: Cards and such (was: Gentlemen etc)

Dear Mr. Kniggit

Kards R 4 Us All
U R A Card So Is Kat
Send The Very Best

Subject: Re: cancel flyfish

Ah Yes, this is what I have been missing.
I humbly submit another option. One could *Join* the flyfish army that is gathering.
Then they could march on, or was that march off.....

No Cancel flyfish
You must join the Big Army
March off or March on

les is more

Subject: Re: The Eclectic List

Dear HS

RE: Sensai *Richard of Frank* and Many Many other Personalities :)

Sensai Eclectic
Alacrity his domain
His Pigs Kick Some Arse

Screw The Malcontents
Our Feral Chickens Peck Arse
Our Fence Is Barb Wire

If They Like to Live
Dangerously As It Will Be
Send An Attachment

;=) HTML
Set E-mail To Do All This
Unscribe Will Happen

LB (Thank You - Good Job!)

Subject: Re: Reply Protocol (was Re: Long casts?......)

Well Chris the "Inscrutable Drama Queen" has a wintel operation: However, I shall attempt to write an apple script for him.

Dear "Inscrutable Drama Queen" install this script and reboot the machine:

cootisms will work
C:\Delete Si Colon Backslash Delete :)
Install OS 9

Use Eudora Mail
Leave Settings Alone No Change
Return To FlyFish

Now All SOB's
Are Safe From Total Recall
Taken To Safe Place

You May Return Mail
So All May Review The Truth
Geritol Does Work


Subject: Re: best cooking oil


What is Grapa :( - I have a feeling I have missed out on something :)

I do not know about *pesticides* and this Grape Oil Business? I would like to know about that. I picked ours up at the *Oasis* - A store that pays attention to this sort of thing - they would not knowingly purchase stuff that has traces of pesticide in it. However, Richard is correct it is $$ - I am embarrassed about that part of it. I smuggled a bottle of Basil Grape Seed in - Ann-B has used it and she was impressed. See the Salutesante web sight - interesting stuff. SailFish are excellent when *fired* with Grape Seed Oil :))

Richard & Other Tuscans

Olive Oil Is In
Better Than The Massage Oils
Healthier For Skin

A Great Big Cigar
A Large Glass of Chianti
Smile On Richard's Face

Big Spring Break Is Near
Take Size 32 Dry Fly
Stick It In Your Ear.....


I have a feeling this is heading into hot water... "I Like getting into Hot Water, It keeps me clean".


Subject: Re: Guide size and placement

Ooops . Well Then There Now..... Whats goin on here?

I know my own ass
He can pack a great big load
seventeen hand mule

He no like the tea
In his bucket is Wild Oats
Good Old *Geritol*

Often he jumps up
Looking through his Ceramics
Guides wrapped too tightly

The Mathematics
Ax^2 + By... *crack*
A broken record

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
(Lewis Carroll)

les is More

Subject: Re: Trolling with a Fly Rod for big game

Hey, I am thinking about trolling with the fly rod as I float the PFC down Lake Creek. I need to be careful.... you hook a big Native -- now what? :) Yo Ho down the creek we go... there must be a KU here somewhere.

Yo Ho down we go
Backwards through the roaring falls
Steelhead on the line

Passion thing of past
I now have messed my waders
Full of something else

leslie of Casco

Subject: Rod Builder KU

Hello to the Stick in the Wall G@ng

Thy Rod and Thy Staff
They Shall Comfort All Of You
Include Directions

There Are No Steelhead
Bamboozle-em with cane stick
Can Flog Each Other

Faith shall be reward
Each will have favorite rod
There Are No Steelhead

If You Are One Short
You May Have My nine
Going Windsurfing

""There Are No Steelhead""

leslie of Casco

Subject: Spey Ku
Am American
Cannot Seem To Cast A Spey
Need Help From Hiner

Where Are Those Women
The Ones With All That Good Beer
They Are Playing Golf

Where is Bud Smithers
Is He Drinking All The Beer
There Are No Steelhead

Mr. B. In search of the Tungsten Leader.

Subject: Trickets

Trickets Are For Fun
Have A Pair and a New Spare
Baglo RodBuilding

Glue on the Table
Flexcoat all over the floor
Baglo is Now Stuck

Between the Pages
Of The Latest Building Book
Sticky Fingers Turn

The Eyes Are Lined Up
The Thread Is Close And Wrapped Tight
It is Molson Time

leslie of Casco

Subject: Re: Chinking/Jerking Splitshot on Cane

Bamboo is real grand
Graphite will also work fine
Fiberglass is ok

I want one of each
What I want and what I get
Need to go Set Clocks

leslie in daylight

Subject: Re: Backcountry Flyfishing KNIFE !

This gives new meaning to the concept of Amphibious.

Under the Wool Drawers
An Amphibian Exists
Breathing through his Gills

Kershaw is his name
When out of his leather sheath
Has A Sharper Life

less @ times

Subject: Leaders hard and limp?

There Are Great Leaders
If It Turns Over Use It
Admire the Katas (exercises)

Subject: Trinkets

:) Trinkets What You Have
Priceless Heirlooms what you want
There is a Big Difference

Trinkets In The Shop
Heirlooms in the Catalog
Get On Line and Shop

Spend the Rest of Life
In the Shop with the Trinkets
Always need some more

leslie of Casco

Subject: Re: Trinkets

Trickets and Trinkets
They Are All In CyberSpace
Please Get Yours Today

I simple want some sinking leaders, say 20 in/sec - "That's the Trinket that would do the*Trick*.

Cannon Balls Are Out
The Tendency is to Bounce
Knocking the Trout Out

Then I get Trinkets
Tickets from the Officer
That is Bad Tricket

(Ju-Ju, Karma, or HRS Stuff - as in Kinket, Bent Leader, ....etc

Subject: Re: bugger splitshot


It's Wolfram.
Can you say "Tungsten" :)
There Are Heavy Leaders

les is More

Subject: Action Optics/Polarized Shades

chris night shades of gray
brightens our life everyday
often we see clear

Thank you

Subject: All the "Usual" suspects...

Sheldon, Rob @ ff@family

My compliments on a fine yarn...

Rabbit in all forms
unusual repentence
twisting for hairy

leslie (grasshopper)

Subject: Plucking Ducks - CDC (and Parakeets)


You have wisely chosen the correct path.

Not a Duck Plucker
Not even duck plucker son
will buy C D C

leslie (grasshopper)

Subject: Attach-Ku

Attachment Pains R
vcard.vcf 5.3 ext
Exit "Eudora" crying

Subject: Anybody There?

>I haven't seen any posts to FF@ since noon Saturday.
> I suspect problems on my end (not literally) and if
> not, no posts since noon Saturday just made FF@
>history (not likely, huh). Help!
>Jim Lear


The silent majority are
because diswasher blues
overtake involuntary senses
odoriferous lingers on

Some ff@folks were brave enough to silently try *Dishwasher Salmon*..
Now they are gnawing through those straps.. the wives have tied them up.

Les is More (It was a **Labor** of Love)

Subject: Lance a lot

richard caning lance
a lot of times today
he blistered the hairy squirrel

leslie :-)

Subject: More questions

To be Teal
Is to be Buff
Attend More Garage Sales
In Teal.


Subject: Need Platte River, CO Update

For get Pat-ter-ns
take snow shoes and X Longees
Happy Thanksgiving


Subject: Re: What is a fly?

Fly have zipper 2
Heaven has Lord and humor
Fly eat worm with big grin


Subject: What is a fly?

Claude, Richard & ff@family

A fly is a fly
Complete Metamorphosis
Diptera True Flies

Summer and Autumn
Terrestrials Minutae
Main fare match the hatch


Subject: Fly Ku

Trout Bums use hoppers
Entomology R Sum
legs, wings, eyes, nose, mouth.

Macs Are Apples - Worms Eat Apples - Logic Sucks - Dummies Use Worms.


Subject: Provoked by Professor Higbee's Map

Provoked by Higbee
safer in summer than fall
there are no steelhead


Subject: Attach-Ku

Attachment Pains R
vcard.vcf 5.3 ext
Exit "Eudora" crying

Subject: Re: Ann's political incorrectness...

>Hey, R.S. Claude,
>Just read that we now have proof of earlier existence of
> water on Mars. Can proof of previous existence of trout on
> Mars be far behind. Can you send
>Baglo up there so he can report, "there are no steelhead!"?
>Uh-oh, I hear the wheels a turnin.
>Can a haiku about Mars trout be far behind?

All Right You guys.... (How did you get loose?) Never mind!

And, Ann here says *Seasons Greetings* to Ann there.

Martian trout are there
Mariner has said it so
Claude is right behind.

PS. Glenn *There Are Silvers* .... Steelhead to follow :=)

leslie & Ann

Subject: Re: new fiber announced...:=)

??I definitely don't think richard takes this threat seriously.. do
you suppose we can raise *cane*
that has a copper fiber in it for those 2 meter antennas?

>> The M5 fiber is said to be copolymer of 2,3,5,6-tetra-
>> and 2,6-dihydroxyterephthalic acid.
>Oh Henk, dear! It's been so long since you've talked to us this
>Enthralled in MA,


enthralled it is then
for those who raise cane


Subject: Re: Instituting

Had Master Sifus
Cane men after Lutafisk

les is humbled

Subject: Re: Warmwater fishin/Oregon

>Just thought Id post a note for any listers in NW Oregon. I was
>Vernonia lake this afternoon and had some "HIGH YODELIN ADVENTURES!"
>using weighted nynphs from shore on huge crappie and perch, oh ja
> and Bluegills IN THE WINTER NO LESS!!
Mr. Cookie (Dave Potts)

Oh No the Worms out
Soft Plastic in Or e Gone
Sister Sue plans trip

Lister arrives here
Finds Cane in Deadwood Potts Plot
There Are No Steelhead

Les is More (Raising Cane in Deadwood)

Subject: Re: Jimeeee's kissin' agin

Chris (AI)
>Jimmeee assaults fish
>dire need for breath mints, condoms
>carp pay per diem
>Chris Knight, Institute for Bad FF@ Poetry

(AI) as in *Act Immediately*. Thou shalt put your beaut in the Haiku
Prison in 3 or 4 cells.
All of this as a reminder to us:

Whiskers and Hinders
It is a relative where
Carp have funny lips

les is (well maybe)?

Subject: Re: Ethics: My Long Tendril of Drivel

Rob & Dave

Whitefish may not jump
Fear Bonker on the River
Have lips will kiss you


Subject: Re: idiot time: Re: Ethics: My Long Tendril of Drivel

>Leslie Benscoter wrote:
>> Rob & Dave
>> Whitefish may not jump
>> Fear Bonker on the River
>> Have lips will kiss you
>> leslie
>rob have big bad dog
>bite you on butt I will
>keep your lips off him
>Bo (rob's Dog)

Bo :=)

Hair of Dog Rising
bit e butt make for ouchee
My lips are sealed

Tar (Shane's Lab, as in Tar & Feathers)

Subject: Re: Rods : Action And Line weights

Richard, Bud...

You guys are very esoteric.

Pegasus and Cane
"Why I Live at the P.O."
A Curtain of Green [Harcourt,Brace,Jovanovich :=)]

Eudora is sweet
Post Office Protocol mail
Eudora Welty

"Actions and Lines wait on no man"


Subject: Re: What's a CDC, anyway?

Oh My....

The Cul de Canard
The Butt of the Duck Sauvage
Where oh Where to look

The CDC fly
To float like a butterfly
And Sting like a Bee

I am considering ASCII Art to help with this drawing... this is the
case of X marks the spot.
As soon as I get the Gun stoked up Tar and I will go get the reel
thing for the Webby Page :=))

Please view in a fixed-width
font such as Monaco or

             /      \
            /     (0 \______
            |         "_____)
            \        ,-----'
             \_    _/
              /    \
             /      \
            /        \
           /          |
          /        :  |
         /     ;   :  |
\\\     /  _.-'    :  |
 \\\\  / _'        :  |
  \\\X\/ ;         :   /
   \\  ;         :   /
    \   `._`-'_.'  _/
     \     ''' _.-'
      \      / /
  jgs  \    / /
        \  /)(_______

credit to jgs & ascii art, sig software 1.4 (thank you leslie b.)

Les is More (Giving more :=) consideration to using FUZZ Flies with weighty legs)

Subject: Re: I know why now!!

Danny & Allan

Now I know.
My Grandparents were married from day one...it lasted
My Parents were married from day one............it lasted
Ann (Mercedes) And I have always been married its lasting.
I therefore like onions and write very bad poetry.

les is more (Garlic only smells overnight, genetics goes on and on
and on).

I patiently wait
Rivers rise and fall so soon
There will be Steelhead

Subject: Re: Is flyfishing a sport?

Richard # ff@family

Mrs Benscoter thinks it is *Art* with a tad of *supporting Science*.

I wrote to Richard and said: (Sport being _good fellow).

Philosophy Sport
Flyfishing is a lifestyle
Chosen with purpose

The implications of that attempt at FishKu by the inept me may not be ClearlyClear :=))

So.... I thought ( :=)), (an oxymoron)... and came up with the following as an example of how I view Flyfishing.

**The Long_Fly_Line**

Love, Honor, Duty & Character


Subject: Re: Tube Fly Vise ATTACHMENT

S2 this is 7(10) [AG7X] voluntary defense for Bobby P2: He has saved
us 40,000 K of
"What does it look like" QSL's. Typical case of one 11 K JPEG is
worth 40K of ASCII. :+)

Oh Yes... I know MacMeister will boil us both in hot water. Speaking
for myself "I like getting
in hot water it keeps me clean"........

S^2 this is AG-Seven-Ten over and out :)

Yo Ho Off we go
Digi Cam on the Shoulder
Hot Water Awaits

Kidding of course.. I know the rules.

Subject: Re: Fly rods and beer?



Shrinkwrap Budweiser
Containment is everything
Performance Flyrods


Subject: Re: Fiction Contest Entry - Circles.


Tears of Memories
Circles of Absolute Joy
Throw a Rock in Pond

Thank You

Subject: Re: 1999 Poetry Contest Entry


You did it again

>Ooooh, the shack nasties have begun.
>"You're wrong!" "I'm not!" "You cur!", from one;
> And another has whined:
> "My feelings are maligned!"
>While the rest of us watch the fun.

Shoo Goo sticks on all
Aqua Seal tend to bind us
A Shoo Goo Goo Shoo

les is more

Subject: At One With One

Ode to heavy duty casters...Frank, et. al....

I am 1 with 1
At peace with sweet Harmony
Zen Casters Unite

Self said to Himself
No Shrubs No Bugs & No Rain
ooops RainMaker hear

Tomorrow will rain
1 wait will shrink to no wait
Can't fish Gym is closed

Les is More (New Dimension FlyRods -= Negative Weights-=)

Subject: Re: Blue Moons

Ocean Sky is Kool
Food for hungry fisherman
No swollen red leg

Les has a Red Neck (My Dry suit is Dry).

Subject: Re: Double Haul/Mr. E.

Mr. E.

Oh My Let-er-Rip
Fly Folk swollen wader leg
More than meet the eye

Les is more (Do you autograph books?) :=))

Subject: Re: Deadwood VII/Magnetic Cow

Richard & ff@family

Richard saith:

> streams wading is made difficult by many obstacles, no
> trespassing signs are among the hazards. There are Otter
> ways to solve these problems.

Right. You might invest in the new River Cow. It's one udder way.
(Available with optional magnetic butt anchor.)

Mr. B had said:

>I am impressed by the many PFC's that are available to us. Each of these, have their
>individual merits; all are deserving of purposeful consideration.

I reckon what I said was an *UdderStatement* - progress seems to have been made.
So, for the curator of the:

>DamnYankeeClave '98
"We shall make available *From LakeCreek Studio* the new Butt Anchor System."

Anchor by your Butt
Great things come to those who wade
River Cows Smoke Grass

Les is more (LakeCreek Studio is in full production :=))

Subject: Re: Road test of the Sage 1 wt. (Spey Ku)


Spey test? Did you? Bud has the right fly for this.

"Richard" gave Dave the warning; he fired the over the bow shot ... In the West we
use 6's and 7's for grousy stuff, BB and Buck for things that quack, the Savot's are
for those big hairy things that may or may not Oink.

David had one wait
The knob on his head was reel
Doctor said "no fowl"

"You guys are not safe for me to be around ...."Bad" influence.

Les is More

Subject: Re: Ultragreen Maxima...???(the 27 yard post)

Where do you get that big long line?

Les is 27yards, More is that big long line

. LB1

Twenty Seven Yards
And what do you get yo ho
Another day old

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