Magnetic Cow Verse

This section is dedicated to Henry Kanemoto, without whom, not.

This topic started in early January 1996 when Trevor Stone posted the following inquiry: "Last winter the cabin fever brought to this list the wonderful world of haiku. This year its magnetized cows. Anyone care to start a magnetized cow haiku thread?"

The fallout is below:

From: Chris Knight
Subject: Magnetized Cow Haiku

orienteering?
rudimentary, Watson
just use Henry's cow

where never is heard
discouraging words, instead
moos deformat disks

magnetic manure
has a certain attraction
composting nightmare

Had enough? I didn't think so...

Wisconsin bovines
facing magnetic north pole
to declinate, tip

OK, that's enough for now. We now return to our regularly scheduled program.

From: D.J.
Subject: A Limercow for Henry

O Henry you started an angle
When your modifier did the big dangle.
Magnet cows are in vogue
With this list, as I'm told.
Stuck to the frige, much like a bangle.

The haikus are spreading like fire
And much to my own great desire.
With magnets galore,
I head to the store.
"Where's the beef?, I could only inquire.

From: Bill Schudlich
Subject: cowku

Cow attracted me
Lost in the forest am I
Need a new compass!

Fishing no longer
My backcast stuck to a cow
Demagnetized hooks?

incompatable?
beavers and cows, they are
not on FLYFISH @

I think I'm gonna be sick! At least its out of my system.

From: Marty Wardius
Subject: Re: A Limercow for Henry

Henry says:

>...you guys will have to find the holy grail on your own..........:^)

I found it Henry! It was laying in a snowbank downstream from Prairie Dells... probably got dislodged when they blew the dam. Who'd have figured...? It bears the following inscription:

Henry's cow, up in Wausau, with fervor
Made a new kind of "Chocolate Emerger"
Instead of passed gas
Magnets flew out it's ***
But alas, it was turned into burgers

C. Nile

From: Chris Knight
Subject: Bad Magnetic Cow Poetry gets worse

A magnetic cow north of Milwaukee
used a small metal stirrer for coffee
When the milk was in place
round his mug he would race
and the stirrer, it mixed it 'til frothy

From: C. Nile Mohr-Fargher (Marty Wardius)
Subject: Bad Magnetic Cow Haiku

Cowku! Cowku! Yaaay!
How now magnetic cow?
Put the magnet where?

C. Nile

From: Eli Robillard
Subject: Cowku

As someone once said,
"All good things must come to pass"
The cows have been milked.

From: Richard Frank
Subject: Cowku

Cows low abjectly
Attractive beasts now catching flies
I cast in a field

Cows facing northward
All stomachs churning nails and bolts
Rust never sleeps

From: Blake Werner
Subject: Re: Henry Must Have A Big One

In Wisconsin sky
Northern Lights bend downward hard
The cows and trout dance

From: Blake Werner
Subject: Do you really have to ask?

Cowku rots the mind
Compost for winter musing
Makes good flies for spring

From: Chris Knight
Subject: Magnetized Cow/Beaver Haiku

Trevor, just asking for trouble, sez:

>Now if that beaver thread from last summer would just ah...resurface...

Run fast and delete even faster...

bucky writes haikus
on tablet stuck to Elsie
who is stuck to fridge

barbed wire in the dam
beaver used Farmer Bob's fence
Dammed cows strike again

January? Heck, I've had cabin fever since November.

"Bother" said Pooh, as he ate the cow magnet in his honey jar.

From: Claude Freaner
Subject: Re: Haiku Moo

Moooo, said pole vaulter,
as she happily soared high
over the barn fence.

From: David Alexander Mason
Subject: Haikmooooo!

Cast forward, cast back
Strange pull in my forward stroke
Damned cows are nearby

Magnetostatics.
Integrate over a cow?
Algebra from hell.

Charge up some old cow,
Accelerate it near c.
Don't need no magnet.

Hey this milk is weird
The lights dim when I drink it
New form of matter

Get a thousand cows
Ram a pipe through their bodies
Supercollider

OK so its probably apparent that I'm a bit of a physics geek....

From: George Jacox
Subject: Haiku. Gesundheit

If a compass points north
Does magnetized calf-tail hair
Stack itself laid east-west?

From: Hector I. Macedo
Subject: yet more haiku

Bulls distressed.
Cows magnetic personality
atracting undesirables.

(Someting stinks, sticks?)

From: John Carter
Subject: magnetized cow haiku

Is it really true?
How now, magnetized brown cow.
Yep, count 'em: seven.

Why feed cows magnets?
If they'll eat nails they should be
out of the gene pool.

Marge? Go call the vet.
The tractor won't move with all
The cows stuck to it.

I rise up in awe.
Awe of the awful caster.
Cow and beaver bleed.

From: John James
Subject: Magnetic cows

Cows attract my watch
While I sit here and add up
My own syllables.

From: Hector I. Macedo
Subject: yet more haiku

Bulls distressed.
Cows magnetic personality
atracting undesirables.

From: L.A.Smithers
Subject: Magnetic Haiku

Circular casts whirling
round unbelted magnetic cows
Cows ruminate ,defecate ,split shot

From: Luis Nasim
Subject: Cow/beaver haiku

cow poops nails at ford
beaver whacks his bushy tail
moo runs scared to death

From: Rick Persse
Subject: Cow Magnet Haiku

Please accept my apologies for the following haiku - it is my first attempt ever!

Feed cow magnet
Sure to hurt fillings
in poor cow
cow poo hurt when done

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Material reprinted with the expressed consent and misgivings of the original authors.