Odes to Fur and Furry Critters

First up: a thread about displaying flies in shadow boxes took a wrong turn:

From: Marty Wardius
Subject: Sheep Mounting Haiku

Coot spake:

> Hi Brian: I think you are making a mistake trying to mount flies,glen
> tells me he has trouble even trying to mount sheep.I would stay away
> from the zip kicker if I were you ;you might never get off

Proper mounted sheep
a joy to behold even if
you have to inflate

OK Richard... you and the pigs have the first shot. 8^)

From: Richard Frank
Subject: Re: Sheep Mounting Haiku

On 20 Dec 2001 Marty Wardius wrote:

> OK Richard... you and the pigs have the first shot. 8^)

swooping plastic sheep
watch for the ewe turn billy
no sharp pricks allowed

vinyl billy goat
seeks young inflatable ewe
must be flexible

From: Claude Freaner
Subject: Fwd: Re: Sheep Mounting Haiku

broke into the soy bean field
ate too much; got gas

or is you ain't my baby,
or just an air head?

dream of the Macy's parade
floats at Thanksgiving

From: Chris Knight
Subject: Re: Sheep Mounting Haiku

baaa baaa baaaaa baaaaa baaaaa
baaaaa baaaaa baaaa baaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaa baaaaa baaa
baaaa baaaa baa baa baaaaaa

If that ain't properly mounted I don't know what is. 8^)

From: Fred Smith
Subject: Sheep Mounting Haiku

Inflatable ewe
gives new meaning to greased nymph
pass the dri-ur-fly

Ewe can tell no tales
of dirty deeds done with sheep
baa baa only ewe...

From: Duke Jones
Subject: Re: Sheep Mounting Haiku

Inappropriate?
Quadrapedaphilia?
Or winterÕs return?

From: Marty Wardius
Subject: WARNING!!! - Nude Beaver haiku

>Could it be? A nude beaver FF haiku is forming....

Shorn of fur, he chews
my bare leg has no more skin
nude rodent must die

Hey, someone had to....

Marty wardius

"Ward, don't be so hard on The Beaver!" -June Cleaver

From: John Carter
Subject: Limbeavericks

For an instant of fly-fish-list fame,
with lines that grow more-and-more lame,
as though gripped with fever
we defame the poor beaver,
and cannot stop playing this game.

Alas, poor beaver! I knew him well.
A pity that to such depths he fell.
Have we lads no shame?
Use no more his name,
Lest we stand accused of his death knell.

Once a mere murmur, now a loud wail
from hundreds of addicts to fly-fish e-mail.
The plea, oh so cogent:
enough with the rodent!
Oh, please spare us the beaver de-tails.

With the fervent hope that I've offended many (I myself stand in awe of such gruesome creation),

From: Bob Perry
Subject: Dubbing Rakes

When the fur skins drop from the trees in the Fall,
your rake and you will have a ball!
You'll bag the rakings so nice and neat,
but not for collection in the street.

From: Chris Knight
Subject: Doggone Dogs!

Tyson wrote

> Thanks for all of the responses that the original post generated!
>and even a bigger thank you that there was NO POETRY!
>
>There is no poetry!

Man, oh, man. And to think I sat on my hands today and stayed completely out of this thread. Until now. Oh, when will these young upstarts learn?? 8^)

While strolling his Rottweiler pooch
to the corner to pick up some hootch
yon Lassie came over,
said "Rottie, bend over
and I'll give your male doghood a smooch"

But Griffen was not too amused
at having his doghood perused
by a poorly-bred mutt
so he got off his butt
and he bit her 'til she felt abused.

I never met a gauntlet I didn't like,

From: L. C. Clower
Subject: Doggone Dogs!

Rottweilers don't bite
Cocker Spaniels vicious
List gone to the dogs?

From: Claude Freaner
Subject: Doggone Dogs! (Idiot Time)

Tyson wrote:

>Thanks for all of the responses that the original post generated!
>and even a bigger thank you that there was NO POETRY!

Sorry, Tyson; I was out of town earlier in the week...

When walking your rott on the street,
And an unleashed dog you should meet.
Tell the owner beware,
As you really do care,
What your dog chooses to eat!

When walking your dog,
Carry a trowel, a baggie,
And some bail money. Ok, Tyson? Sorry it's late...

From: Chris Knight
Subject: 40-Peckered Billy Goat 'ku

There is no FF content below. Nothing tasteful or appropriate either, for that matter. 8^)

Hiner wrote:

>I can be meaner than a pit-bull with hemorrhoids and I can get hotter than
> a 40 peckered billy goat.

Hiner market tip:
buy Vaseline stock today
lest you get his goat

Chris Knight

[more bad poetry] [Front Page] [Escape to something much more tasteful]

Material often reprinted with the expressed consent and misgivings of the original authors.