The Mark Herron Collection

Back around 1999 Mark "GB" Herron stumbled onto FF@ and shortly thereafter his natural talent for bad poetry revealed itself, to the delight and horror of all. In fact, it has revealed itself so much that we here at the Institute gave him his own office just to keep it from cluttering up the hallway. Enjoy!

Subject: Re: Cheeky 1998 - 2000 RIP ;^(

Conrad Black wrote:

> I buried Cheeky last Thursday,  it was a nice service ...

> Well,  Cheeky got buried after the last vet bill for the final
> needle,  she cost me half a GLX, not bad for a $2.50 rat  !

a needles prick
big sleep for cheeky glx
farewell rat in rimu suit

mark gbh

Subject: Non FF: Bouncing Ku for You Sue K

Follow the bouncing brookie
No pings from techie today
Bandwidth sorries all listers

Subject: Re: into the backing

Koo time.

Disks are a pawling
Siren calls of Hardy from afar
Hit song has my backing

Bauer bird singing
In the dawn of day
Take these wanton nymphs
And learn to fly

Subject: Re: Mark GBH Re: Rick Re: Steelhead ? (Great Lakes)

Leslie Benscoter wrote:

> French Bread, no fat. I had one with some fresh oysters and
> Greek Salad -- sort of an Otolunch :)
otto lith for otolunch
lox assisted clam bake
quelle age de gaulle stone?

Subject: Re: UNSUBSCRIBE ?

Dear Diminishing Listers
To those left.......... Oh dear, here we go. Go ahead then, blame ME why
don't you. 'Twas my ku that broke the dromedaries coccyx. Never mind the
others, just make me the scapegoat over the great bovine mammalian fluid
exodus. The Savanorola/ Joan of Arc of ff@ that's me. Alright then. Gather
the kindling, ready the stake, pour out the lox and chuck another GBH on the
barbie. Sniff. You heartless hypocrite bastard meanies. Sob. Let those
without ku cast the first keystroke. Pitter pat. - tears falling freely onto keyboard.

I don't know if I can, sob wail sigh, go on...... Hang on, the muse is
mumbling something............

One lowku too many
Over the PETA's nest s/he flew
Unsubscrivel me

Yours in shame and torment,

Mark Mea Culpa GBH

Subject: Re: Ingredients in the spam :^)

To those about to rock we salute you. To those about to unnsubscrivel, we
apologize for the bandwidth.

Cannibis Oates
Roll them, ignite and inhale
Sow your sativas

Avena sativa
Naturally increase your modulus
Wham bam thank you spam.

Subject: Report from the River

Les wrote:

>I'm liftin anchor and driftin to the Salmo Slide Hole - be
> back in 45. *S*

my totem has been staying out of dry fly range but following your drift. its
reports have me wondering if that credit card is about to be impounded
again. :^))

not making cutt
cannon balls are loosed
divine intervention

Subject: Re: Fisher rod company?

Richard Frank wrote:

> If you've got the Wurst grip, you've got the best!

nochwurst, bratwurst?
getting a pleasing grip ok
no need to double haul


Subject: Canadian Follies

Leslie Benscoter wrote:

> Oh My. :)  Could be, ...This may spawn an independent council or some
> such thing :)

Studwell Dork and his Legal Bills
Playing at the Palais tonight
Pay at the door, the beating goes on

Subject: Re: suscribe

Richard Frank wrote:

>On 15 Feb 2001, Eddie Marfeo wrote:
> > suuscribe
> Damn, that was close Eddie.  Keep trying, son!

g'day richard
permission to ku sir?

2 u who cook oo
man u need 2 drop a u2
uky edu - unsubsrivel me

crankshaft w gbh

Subject: What it Takes ku

Strong heart clear eye
Keen mind willing quick hands
Deep spirit hunting

Subject: Re: brain fart

Tammy wrote:

> I forgot how to subscribe to the list.
> I haven't broken the ku thing to him yet.

g'day tam
maybe i kin hep sum. :^)

senior moment
got lost unsubscrivel land
set tambo flyfish

Subject: Genetic Mod. fish - wts

The Old Coot wrote:

> Hi Mark: I`m pretty sure a twig snapped somewhere, just now: but I
> couldent hear it.However with all the nonesense that has been
> going on for the last two days somebodies twig must have snapped. Do you 
> suppose we could get him or her a replacement?

g'day jean paul
no worries mate! plenty of spare twigs on this list. try this one. :^)

existential twig
broken rod goes unnoticed
coot is snappy

Subject: Re: PETA is at it again...

G'day U's Buggers
First off, had to do a double take on the web site url Thought it might be missing an "s" and an "h" in the middle there - alternatively an "r"and an "e" if the English you speak comes from England. Peta and Peter, does that make a repeater or a semi automatic? An an under and over perhaps. :^)

How about 'ol Peter Singer? We are eternally proud the boy is sprung from the loins of Oz.

Now, if I were a philosopher and knew how to disguise my e-mail address, I might ask these buggers or anti-buggers what the difference was between artificial insemination, including taking the makings from the bull, and animal sexual abuse - to the animal that is. ;^) Oh sorry, so that's not kosher either huh, but what does the bull say about it - other than the obvious hmmmmmmmmmmmahhhhh. ( BTW, that's bull talk for how was it for you honey) Then again what about when the farmer or the vet goes in armpit deep looking for junior or to unplug the plumbing? Bugger me, it gets hard to do an animal a good turn doesn't it? 'Less maybe you are seated in the chesterfield, tamping the ash off the cuban and sipping on the chardonnay. Of course the world is all very straightforward if you know alot more about armchairs than animal husbandry. :^)

I'm Peta, repeat Peter
Reiterative, that's for free
I'm a champion, of the underdog
The missionary position for me

cha cha cha

Mark GBH
ps Mind how you pet that pet now - especially you cat lovers. I'm watching you David Lewis.

Subject: Spare dogie tinnes

BP2 wrote:

> Yes, I surrender.  All the flylines you want for free but please stop the
> psychological mind altering torture.  There is blood coming out my ear.
> Who am I again?

G'day Bob

Too easy. You have been reincarnated as a sage xp blank with matching sth reel. You are on a stake out
in the veggie patch. That's not blood, it's a tomato. :^)

Heinz big red
Sagely staked and southerly reeling
Basil Faulty towers

Subject: Re: Poco Harum

Don Kelly wrote:

> That's Procol Harem.  You're not a very good old hippie Bob.  
> We'll, now that I think about it, maybe you are ;-)

G'day Don
Jeez here I was thinking you would be tad young for this one. Must have been
a precocious youngster. :^)

And so it waaaaas...
That her face at first just pastry,
Turned a wider shed of pail.

Subject: Re: Innocent Question for Bruce

Bruce Wainman wrote:

> Truth is I understand nothing about either group and the
> Scots puzzle me even more. One of my Scots students kept
> asking me if she should enquire of her clients whether they
> have "hair-piece."  I said I didn't really think it was
> necessary from a medical point of view... only later did I
> realize she was asking about "herpes" not "hair-piece."

g'day bruce
thank you. i am still chuckling, notwithstanding that i have ample
mcphee in my dna.

hmmm. i think i feel a coup coming on.

warning. warning danger will robinson (ya lattle sassenach geet)

new members please brace or do not read.

favourite scotch std
brogue blended malt under sporran
you got hair piece - jammy

Subject: Re: Selling and buying fly fishing

CK wrote:

> It's a natural marketing reaction to a full street corner
> scene. A bit of extra flash might catch the passing
> motorist's eye and all that....

G'day Chris

Finished my coffee now and moving into ku mode.

Guides on the corner
Flashing their extra bits
Motorists are hooked on the fly

Natural selection
What size experience would fit you best
Flashing incurs extra charge

Subject: Re: Unfurling the Answer?

Gary Bell wrote:

> But the problem was "apparently", that the loop was trying to
> collapse at the hinge - i.e.weak hinge not a stiffer one
> trying to open the loop. It was surmised that the problem was
> in the loop to loop connection.

g'day gary/ double oh severn!

how does that old monkeys song go again? ah yes. i remember now....

"then i saw her do. now i'm a believer. i couldn't
lever if i tried."

it's amazing what you can see just by looking - the loopy emperor's
bottom for example ;^)

leader loose in top paddock
my loopy lines are all unhinged
dying casts are certifiable

mark gbh
"keep your loops pulled tight, your bogdan greased and your hinges
oiled." - yogi paul bearer

Stay tuned for more, 2003 promises to be a good year for bad GBH poetry!

More Bad Poetry Front Page Escape!

Material reprinted with the expressed consent and misgivings of Mark Herron.