Robert Morger, Seussed

In honor of another FF@ nutcase, we bring you the Robert Morger Seuss Exhibit. The data started accumulating on 02 October 1998 when--for lack of a better explanation--he lost his mind. We here at the Institute welcome the company. 8^)

Subject: Suess is on the loose

Of a magazine they bespoke,
Bass Masters, just whose this bloke
So now a little fun I'll poke,
HEY NOW,WHOA NOW, ITS JUST A JOKE.

These guys they get up early and fish all day,
not to different you might just say.
They blast off in their high powered sleigh,
you see they do these things for pay.

For pay you say, this cant be true,
it must be Nobler for a few.
They throw big things for fish to chew,
and spray them with this smelly goo.

Throw big things in the muck,
big plastic things with no shuck.
They pull there sleighs, with a great big truck,
and nary care about Loon or Duck. (had you going there didn't I)

Nary care about Loon nor Duck of these things you must deceive,
for these are what make us hurt and greave.
So cast out and make your grand retrieve,
You reap what you sow, this is what you will receive.

So if you really are in the mood,
we can play the same game I say dude.
We'll take our tubes to some great altitude,
and strap on a 200 horsepower Evinrude.

Regards,
Robert

Subject: The list according to Dr. Suess (or some other such thing)

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's heres an easy thing to say...

If you want to speak of killing whales
or simply how to tie snails.
Or if you want to swap something your tying,
or simply into lying.
Then this is the place for you.

We talk of things like STRAW hats,
and how to get away from young brats.
Rain and claves and such like,
and even how to teach some young tikes.
We even have a few lurkers in this stew.

If your into fishing night time
and it really not a big crime
Then get your self a headlamp
or something small, that wont cramp
your way out in the woods to take a poo.

There's always one there to advise,
how to wrap and heat the poles you devise.
Use a heat lamp, use a light,
burn your house down "that's bout right."
There's always one to say you used too few.

If your really into tall tales,
and you can put up with smelly fish tails.
Then listen to the Old Coot,
or maybe you prefer some Young Snoot.
On this list they all get stuck in the goo.

You say, you can't say this,
that' it's Flame for me to say this.
I'm sorry just, kidding its all in fun,
this is it, gotta go now, its just a pun.
For the moments spent in your presence are all too few.

Ain't dis'in nobody.

Subject: Are you feeling kind of sleepy

Are you feeling kind of sleepy,
its dark and getting creepy.
Kats playin with a fishy that was in her stew.
Its really a great big one,
it must have been great fun.
But hey whats a girl to do.

Regards,
and night y'all
Robert

Subject: Dr. Suess cont. ad nauseum

So if your puter went kerplooey,
and your poxy's really gooey.
Scream for help your really not alone,
someone here will surely call you on the phone.
If this happens you know what to do.

Call a freind now call for help,
I'm sure someone will hear you yelp.
So now if this little incantation,
doesn't mention the FF@ Youth Camp Organization.
Well haven't we heard alot on that too.

If theres too much mail, a flowin in your pail now.
And its time to unsubscribe,and you really dont know how.
Then read your d*mn instruction
for this is not the function.
Of the people on this list to do.

So if you be a thinkin,
Man this guys been drinkin.
Is he drinkin singles or is he drinkin doubles,
Do Gary La Fontaine's flies hold bubbles.
Oh my, golly gee, whats a soul to do?

Regards again,
Robert

Subject: Hey Glen, and an Ode to Baglo

Of Course I'm a Closet Bassmaster. I live in Texas don't I?
Flyfishing Tournaments for Bass. HMMMM How do you hook up a 200 HP motor to a Tube anyway?

Look at Baglo,
with his cigarette all a day-glo.
Smokin whilest upon the water,
hey keep him away from your daughter.

Now aint he quit the guy,
given that cigar a big try.
Kinda reminds me of somethin,
cant remember it's got me a stumpin.

Oh well off to feed my dogs I go,
I guess this thing I'll never know.
Now I think I remember it,
Its stuck to my shoe,Holy sh*t.

No flames just being a pain.
Regards,
Robert(couldn,t resist)Morger

Subject: It's me again!!!!!!!!!

I guess I'll have to stop now,
fore the Boss has a cow now.
And I'll stop my merry Ramblin,
and to work I be a scramblin.

For as Confucus say "He who fart in church, will sit in his own pew.

Until we Meet Again O Great Ones.

Regards,
Robert (done for now but not for ever) Morger

Subject: Lampreys and fish heads

Sue says and I note:
GET THIS !!

Lamprey : ....elongated freshwater or anadromous fishes of the family [insert latin] with a jawless sucking mouth and a rasping tongue. Then she goes on to say: Tell me you wouldn't catch one of these with your woolly buggers Kat !!! Tell me that no one catches these with a flyrod.

Here goes:
Lamprey Lamprey in the brook,
me wants to catch you with a hook.
Nay you say you do not care,
with jawless sucking mouth you declare.
You will not catch me with a hook,
you will not catch me in a brook.
You will not catch me over there,
you will not catch me anywhere.
So toss that Bugger on your hook,
the only thing I eats Chinook.
This he said with rasping tongue,
And now my stories finally done.

Regards,
Robert

Subject: More Suess(no please stop)

So if your all a fidget,
cause your sellin a rod by Gidget.
And you really don't know how much they'll pay,
so ask these guys and this what they'll say.
Its worth a five hundred but I'll gladly give you two.

And who's this person Kruetser,
is she really a clutz ERRR.
Or is this just a line stated all the time,
maybe the Old Coot thinks this is a crime.
Oh I think I will pay for this too.

My if you broke your Gizmo,
or you broke your big toe,
Someone I'm sure will make it quit clear,
that you need to drink some more Beer.
And try to fix it all with glue.

Regards otra ves,
Robert (Help I've fallen, and I can't stop writin) Morger
and to think this all started because I read a book to my two year old!

Subject: No More Suess? Youre a pain in the Caboose!

Would someone else please take this away from me before I make a complete ass of myself?

Oh you say, too late, too late,
its much to late at this fine date.
This Robert guy is gonna fry,
fry him up with flames awry.
Hes' an as* from here to there.
He's an as* everywhere.
Under this, on top of that,
Dont try to blame it on some little brat.
Take your medicine that is due,
for your the one who stepped in poo.

Regards Yall, Robert

Subject: Re: your output

Oh the Suessing it will not cease,
I cannot stop it in the least.
You want it on the web you say,
of this I must say hooray.
For in the Hallowed halls you'll print,
all my cr*p for all to squint.
For this bothers me not in the least,
to have your approval is like a feast.

Subject: Just a thought

Last night when I should have been sleeping,
there came to me a thought slowly creeping.
Should Kat have made Lamprey and Fish head stew,
Or Baglo smoke his smoke with ghastly pew.

Then the thought did fill my head, of Whaling fleets, with whales all dead. Of mayfly hatch on rainbowed river, these thoughts set me all a quiver.

Then I thought of Old Coot's snit, and how some spoke boldly of it. How a Lady fell in the dark of night, crossing a creek without a light.

These things I thought as I lay there, and drifted off without a care. So if you dreams these thoughts at twilight, Give thanks for the list in early daylight.

Regards, Robert

Subject: 400 hour work weeks with OT on top of that.

You say your trained as an engineer,
Could not stay home and drink the beer.
So you went and found a job,
where customers make an angry mob.
You say you toiled for near two week,
and of many hours you doth speak.
Eight hundred and forty eight hours hath he,
when I am stuck with a paltry eighty three.
How do you dance this dance,
or was it a mistake per chance.
Do you say you toil this hard,
just to pay the credit card?

If you worked that many hours in two weeks your a better man than me.

Regards,
Hope you find your engineering job.
Robert

Subject: The Suessing has stopped

Limerick anyone:

There once was a guy from Texas
Whose mental faculties were tested
He said with a grin
As He Suessed em again.
Just wait until I'm Well Rested

I'll be back for you Jack
and I'll let the machine speak. (from ZZ Top Albumn)

Regards,
Robert

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