Pedantic Poetry

As you might expect, this archive is devoted to poetic expressions of geekhood. Enjoy!

From: Claude Freaner
Subject: Turbidity (NTU) - poem

> Hi List,
> This is an off the wall question...
> Does anyone know if there is table that will show aproximate inches
> of visibility vs. measurements in Nephelometric Turbidity Units
> (NTU)?

Through a looking glass
Darkly, flows the silt laden
Turbid brown water

Like choc'late milk flows
The rain swollen water on
Its way to the Gulf

Sonar on the Wooley-worm:
Fish in turbid flows!

From: John W. James
Subject: Re: Turbidity (NTU) - poem

Using big words seems really cool,
But me, I just cast my fly in a pool.
"Pretend," I say, "that you are a bug
that any ol' trout would take in a glug."
I couldn't care less what them's called in Latin.
Someone mentioned genus - that's somethin' I sat in.
Long as there's critters in my little crick,
There's the promise of fish on the end of my stick.

From: Richard Frank
Subject: Re: Turbidity (NTU) - poem

Units of Nephelometric Turbidity
Measure the critters that cloud our lucidity.
Each step we take is a stirring event
And into the maelsrom a billion are sent.
Though oft unaware of the cost of our stride
Lilliputian armadas are sent for a ride.
We might well avow biologic stupidity;
Still, we're left to explain Nephelometric Turbidity.

Where is Henk when you really need him?

From: Dave Murphy
Subject: Words for Rods, poetic

This is my fishin rod
This is my pole
This one's for angling
This one's for a roll

(Sung to the Marine's famous tune to teach soldiers the difference between rifle and gun)

Poetry never was my strong suit... You may flame me now.

From: Claude Freaner
Subject: William of Ockham and flyfishing

>Did William of Ockham flyfish? :-)

William of Ockham's sharp razor
Cut away illogic du jour.
He didn't flyfish
Though it was his wish,
Because spinning was such a bore

From: John W. James
Subject: Why stars twinkle ( was 75% Presentation for Harrison S. )

Twinkle, twinkle little orb
Light the sky does not absorb
Waves of shifting frequency
That my eyes don't let me see.
If a planet, light will stay
constant, not shimmer away.

What do you mean it won't work?

Bad FF@ Poetry Professor, non-tenured

From: Richard Frank
Subject: Why stars twinkle ( was 75% Presentation for Harrison S. )

Poem, front to back I scan it.
Nowhere do I find a planet!
Orb you boldly substituted,
And heavanly orbs can't be disputed,
But those orbs are not in the sky
That put a twinkle in my eye.

BTW, fly selection, zipper or button front, can't be worth 25%.
Presentation has to be more important!

And this from a discussion of when to put an i before an e...

From: John W. James
Subject: Weird

It's weird to discuss
letter order properties
with e-mail neighbors.

More to come, you can be sure.

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Material reprinted with the expressed consent and misgivings of the original authors.