From Bright Chrome Blindness to Pi Day Heroics: Assorted Silliness

Here's a bunch of stuff working the margins of categorization. Most of it is pure silliness, I have them grouped by thread. Silly is good.

From: Bill Schudlick
Subject: Bright Lines Black Chrome [idiot time]

My line is too bright
I cannot see, reflection
from shiny black chrome

My hooks are jappan'd
Will take them to Nagano
Snowboarders smoke dope?

Just trying to cast some gloom on a too bright day.

From: jim woolacott
Subject: Latis and Flatu

here i was, thinking i had stumbled across a beautiful mythological romance between two of my passions only to learn it was only beer and gas!.......i am trying to think of what the t-shirt would look like?.....dare i invite beer and gas haiku in honor of latis and flatu

okay well a limerick then......

here i sit broken hearted
had two beers
and promptly farted

really bad haiku:

latis beer goddess
flatu my bowels ache for you
unholy romance

From: Chris Knight
Subject: Re: Latis and Flatu

Jim W. wrote:

>latis beer goddess
>flatu my bowels ache for you
>unholy romance

I like it. 8^)

meady druid farts
drummed the eternal rhythm
inspired salmon runs

From: Richard Frank
Subject: Re: Latis and Flatu

Latis Flatuli
this gem is a real gas man
flecked salmon and brown

From: Blake Werner
Subject: Re: Latis and Flatu

The honey mooners
Latis and Flatu are smooth
they know how it goes

lifes a circle dance
full of gas and beer and fish
are we in heaven

From: Clyde W. Watson
Subject: Re: Latis and Flatu

beer battered salmon
deep fried to a golden brown
marriage of Flatu Latis

After all the stupid virus alerts that have been posted to the list, this one was a nice change of pace...

From: Dennis Perkinson
Subject: FF@ Virus Alert

The lim'ricks are well out of hand.
My God! No more I can stand!
Claude's not playing Cupid.
My writing is putrid.
Oh, please help me regain command!

The virus has taken control.
I can't even go for a stroll.
Don't know who I am;
I once was a man.
Now my life is exceedingly droll.

From: Claude Freaner
Subject: Re: FF@ Virus Alert Claude will be off the list for the indefinite future. I received a call this afternoon from his office and they told me he had collapsed in his office and appeared to be in a state of shock. They said he was physically ok, but didn't respond to anything. They called the medical people, and he was taken to a mental hospital in Arlington. One of his coworkers saw the above message on the screen of his computer, and right below it, Claude had written:

There was a young man from Nantucket
Who went flyfishing with a bucket,
His flyline was orange,
And his saaa;s=q39jasdluqrwtglklllllllllllllllllllllllll

From: Leslie Benscoter
Subject: Re: FF@ Virus Alert

Ok

see star lite star brite
independent council knight
Chris is annointed

pc men unite
scan and sweat tweek your You E
run mcAffy run

check your virus tree
open the door and clean house
reinstall OS

Les is More ()

This spurt resulted from a discussion of whether or not I exist. Huh?

From: Claude Freaner
Subject: New subject: was Re: Claude denies...

Getting sort of deep around here - I'd ask for rain to wash it away, but that might get me in touble with the anti-stream-polluntion crowd...so, instead, I'll just say

Roses are red,
Violets are blue;
Enough's been said,
'Bout Heavenly dew.

Let's talk of lead,
It's so bad for you;
You might get dead,
If on it you chew.

From: Blake Werner
Subject: New subject: was Re: Claude denies...

If you breathe it in,
or pick yer nose
be death to you
and that ain't prose

So use it careful
and wash yer hands
and try to fish dries
when ever you cans.

Can you say "Rod Spine"? I thought you could.....

From: Richard Frank
Subject: Spine - I surrender. Kill me.

I've looked for the spine
But I keep drawing a blank.

Is there a conspiracy alist
To drive us all mad?

These spines, these spines!
Who would have thought
There would be sooo many spines???!!!!

Does it eminate from the White House?
Do we need a special prosecutor, Janet?

Does Dave's spine have a distinctive
Mark on it? Which side, Ms. Jones?

Those spines, those spines
Can't somebody stop those spines?

********************************************
Our archive overfloweth!
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From: John W. James
Subject: Spine - I surrender. Kill me.

Does someone have spine enough
to stand up for the facts?
My fishing rod, it has a spline,
But spines refer to peoples' backs.

This quandry, it may drive you mad,
But I'm laughing out with glee.
Would someone please care to ex-spline?
I'm 'bout to bust my spleen.

And for the nursery-impaired:

Does this rod have a spine?
Does this rod have a spline?
Does this rod go in a sock?
Does this rod go in a shoe?
Does this cow emit a moo?
(If you ate magnets, you would too!)

Can you, can you build a rod?
Are you a guide wrapping god?
Do we test your thinking cap?
Have you had enough? I have!

John, still tenured


From: Blake Werner
Subject: Re: Spine - I surrender. Kill me.

Oh my no sir
that won't do sir
cows eat hay and loudly moo sir
magnets are the thing to do
now for a gernsey, take a few

You'll never see a cow get wired
they eat their magnets and get tired
For those who love their prozac best
I suggest perhaps a magnet fest

Now you have heard of cats who mew
But here's a nasty thing to do
let them try magnet of cow
next day you will hear them yowl!

Geeeezzz,,,,the things some people will do to get others to reset mail! I have absolutely no idea what the dialog has been about. Tis the tying season

From: Stephen Di Cerbo
Subject: Re: Rod Spine Business is a Hoax!

i am not a spline-finder

nor a spline-finder's son

but I must find the splines

'Til the spline finding's done!

A brief outpouring of poesy heralded in Pi Day. Yep, us flyfishers love our transcendental numbers:

From: John W. James
Subject: Pi-ku

In honour of Pi Day (3/14 1:59:26 ...): Irrational Pi
A number that knows no end,
Much like flyfishing.

From: Richard Frank
Subject: Re: Pi-ku

Geez I hope there is no way to combine Pi and maggots :-(

-----

You drove your Chevy to the levy
but the Levy was dry.
You said
"This'll be the day that I Pi"

Apologies to pop music lovers and rational people everywhere,

From: Sue Kreutzer
Subject: Re: Pi-ku

> Geez I hope there is no way to combine Pi and
> maggots :-(

Surely you jest ! !!! *G*

Three point one four one
Eightslices - one big maggot pie
Goes down smooth, scary

From: Sue Kreutzer
Subject: Re: Pi-ku

little miss muffit
sat on her duffit
eating her maggot pi
along came a brown trout
surfaced his big snout
made off with it ! and she did cry !

(I knew I shouldn't have turned on the computer.)

From: Blake Werner
Subject: Re: Pi-ku >Geez I hope there is no way to combine Pi and maggots :-( 22 maggots
in a crust made of 7
maketh a grand pi

From: Chris Knight
Subject: Re: Pi-ku

Sing "Ho!" for the value of Pi

transcendent
even god knew its power
earth not polygon

If'n any of you want to join in the celebration, start with Eve Anderson's Pi Trivia Quiz. It'll make you feel stupid.

8^) Chris Kniggit

From: Blake Werner
Subject: Re: Pi-ku

You approach softly
with only a formula
the rain falls lightly

[more bad poetry] [Fly Page] [Escape to something much more silly]

Material reprinted with the expressed consent and misgivings of the original authors.