FF@ Slam Poetry

From the minds of warped people come new and useless ways to let people know that a thread has overstayed its welcome. And yes, you can blame Richard Frank for this. As if you suspected otherwise...

The first episode of Slam Verse occurred when a simple question about clip-on 
sunglasses became a discussion of prescription $unglasses....

From: Richard Frank 
Subject:      Polaroid Rap

Polaroid Rap

I went to the list for a little advise
'Bout some flip-up shades that I thought were kinda' nice.
Got about a million answers, to a very simple question.
There were twenty points of view and a lot of contention.
Got to pick a lens color. Thought that I would get me green.
But there's yellow and amber and ten more shades in between.
Well I'm totally confused now and I'm feeling kinda dissed
Cause the posts keep coming, better see my therapist.

"Well," he said...

I see that you're troubled, bet you asked the glasses question.
Got five million different answers and you're tired of dissention.
Well, let me tell you buddy, there is just one thing to do:
Stop depending on the others and put some trust in YOU.
Well, I thought about his message and I then I was relieved
I said, "Doc I think your right." He said, "Forty dollars, please."

From: John W. James
Subject:      Action Optics Slam Rap

I watched someone else make a terrible mistake.
He was interested in glasses and asked the list for their take -
And get it, he did, so I thought I'd be more sly.
I'd head out to the fishing show to see what I should buy.

There were greens and yellows and amber shades galore,
And while color yields variety, style yields even more.
There are tortoise shell and solid frames and wire frames and such,
There's titanium you can sit on, though I think that's a bit too much.

There are lenses for prescriptions, and lenses just for vanity.
Lenses for aprez fishing - now those would press my sanity.
Frames that run a thousand bucks, and frames for less than five -
can you get them both in tri-focals? Mercy, sakes alive!

Peer pressure in eyewear? Has it really come to this?
Will the trout really know how much I paid for a pair of specs?
A hard sale in every booth, and salesmen's eyes aglint.
A fortune for my glasses? I think I'll fish and squint.

From: Chris Knight 
Subject:      Re: Action Optics Slam Haiku

Polarize me, Babe
Clip me, flip me, tint me orange
use eyewear condom

From: Richard Frank 
Subject:  Action Optics  - Slam Haiku II

Slam Haiku II  (Get 'em team!)

I'm not flippin', Bro
If you lookin' for some shades
I be in the dark

From: Sue Kreutzer 
Subject: Action Optics Slam Haiku III

 Focus !       Proc-talized
Flip Off double vision fail 
what!  Guide Dogs on Stream? 

From: dinky dave dow 
Subject:    Action Optics Freelance Slamku 

It don't matter much
I just lose them anyway, dude
they be scratched up, yo!

From: John W. James
Subject:   Action Optics Slam Haiku IV

Coating free lenses
Can't see the fish through the glare
- worked fine in winter.

From: Marty Wardius 
Organization: Ralph Spoilsport Motors
Subject: Action Optics Freelance Slamku IV

Flip down flip this up
Rat booger rat boogers yeah
can't see a damn thing

[more bad poetry] [Front Page] [Escape to something much more tasteful]

Material reprinted with the expressed consent, and misgivings, of the original authors.