Welcome to the Institute for Bad Flyfish List Poetry. This putrid archive won't interest you if you aren't a member of the flyfish list, and it probably won't interest you if you are; in fact, if you are a reasonable person it should frighten you. The Institute houses a compendium of the nauseating limericks, haiku, and free verse that have been posted to FF@ over the last few years. I figure since I'm responsible for a lot of it, I should be the one to put it on the web.

Bear in mind as you read that many of these "poems" were context sensitive, and you just may not understand why they were funny at the time. Hell, sometimes I don't even understand. Sometimes they weren't supposed to be funny; we've had list poetry to commemorate birth, death, illness, and paradichlorobenzene. These things happen.

So how did this all get started? Blame it on an ex-riverkeeper in Colorado, a former wolverine owner named Chaz Clover. Once upon a time, long before internet haiku contests became commplace, Chaz thought it would be nice if we had a Bad Flyfishing Haiku contest. We did, and it tapped a rich vein of bad verse. A lot of bad haiku got produced. Limericks weren't far behind, because anywhere you get talented bad haiku artists you'll get talented bad limerick writers as well. Now every time an exploitable topic comes up it is sure to draw a bad haiku or limerick. And we here at the Institute think this is very useful, non-invasive therapy....

One recurring theme could use a bit of explanation. You'll notice a lot of poetry devoted to magnetic cows. One time long ago Dr. Henry Kanemoto mentioned his practice of using a cow magnet near his fly tying vise to collect dropped hooks. Trevor Stone suggested a Cow Magnet Haikufest, and now Cow magnet verse has inbred and crossbred: anything weird or unusual runs the risk of being incorporated into a poem with cow magnets.

If you're still curious about this flyfishing poetry stuff, see the FAQ.

I'll be putting up stuff categorized either by topic or by author. Most of it should never have seen the light of day, of course. This is an ongoing unfunded project, check back from time to time and you might find new stuff. The first installments, however, are up and ready to ruin your appetite: